Sunday, February 1, 2015

Ex-Pat's Pats 2014: Super Bowl XLIX Prognostications

Okay, you heard these predictions here, first, folks (all 3 of you). In no particular order:

---We'll see Gronk's butt-crack at least 20 times during this game as the Legion of Boo! focuses on bringing him down in such a way that he doesn't pick-up 3 yards simply by falling forward.

---Katy Perry won't have a wardrobe malfunction (although her outfit may as well look like it).

---Down by 3, the Pats are 3rd & Goal on the Squawks 6 yard line. Brady throws back to Edelman while Amendola runs for the end-zone, drawing heavy coverage from the Legion of Boo!. Brady strolls forward to the end-zone to successfully receive from Edelman for a TD. Edelman, now with a QB ranking of 100.0, gets Game MVP. Gisele, meanwhile, posts the following to her social media accounts:
Puta merda! Meu marido pode porra jogar a bola e pegar a bola!
---Fairweather Squawks fans (and they are legion up her here in AK) who think they're part of the 12th Man learn that #12 is the number of a real player (not some fictitious concept of loud and obnoxious fans) and is not to be messed with. The game will conclude with chants of "Bray! Brady! Brady!" loud enough to completely drown out even the most vocally ardent "12th Man".

---On Monday, Bob Kraft publicly demands Roger Goodell submit his balls to the League for pressure testing.

---Getting absolutely fed-up with my yelling, screaming and pulling an overall Ramsey on the TV, the Weewolfe decides to chew the TV's power cord again.

---If it's a good game, I'll not be posting much of my typically obnoxious commentary as I'll be too busy having a freaking heart attack.

---As with the start of this season, their performance against the Ravens, and the Belichick/Brady era (going back to hearing this song on the radio as I drove to my cousin's house to watch Super Bowl XXVI with him and his wife), this song remains true to me and my long-distance Pats fandom:
Gronk may drink the whiskey drink, the lager drink, and the cider drink, but the whole team gets knocked down and gets up again.

Enjoy the game and keep on singing the songs that remind you of the good times and the songs that remind you of the better times! Maybe, we'll even get to touch the magic again this year:

I'll see ya at Glendale in a few hours!

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